More Than Just Dinner
Letter #3: My host mother's birthday
Hi friends!
Today I’d like to tell you a story about the host family that I am living with during training (Doamnă Maria and Domnul Vladimir). Before I do that, here’s a quick round-up of other recent tidbits, in no particular order:
My host family’s cat had a kitten. Or, possibly, found a kitten? The cat was never visibly pregnant. And it doesn’t seem particularly motherly
I helped another trainee with an origami activity for a bunch of sweet kids
I got a haircut from a tiny village barbershop. It was in an unmarked room in the basement of the mayor’s building, and I only found it via word-of-mouth. Great cut, though!
Peace Corps organized a șezătoare (presentation of traditional culture) with the opportunity to try making handicrafts and a lovely concert by a local youth choir
Best food I’ve had so far: fresh-picked apricot
Most interesting food: pollen balls, collected by a local beekeeper (pictured together with honey)
More Than Just Dinner
A few days before her birthday, I ask Doamnă Maria, my host mom, what she will do to celebrate. “Nothing big, just dinner.” One day before, she clarifies that dinner will include other family members. “Who will come?” “Oh I don’t know, just the kids.” (They have 3). Domnul Vladimir pipes up: “Whoever wants to come! Maybe a hundred people!” During lunch on her birthday, we watch her prepare a tort. I’ve never seen any cake made like this. She starts by baking about a dozen large cracker-like circles to form the layers, then brushes them with apple juice to make them soft and moist. Between the layers she spreads a mix of raspberries and cream (potentially made of sour cream and sugar, though I’m doubting my Romanian on this).
Ted and I leave the house for a Peace Corps activity, then hustle back to make sure we’re not late. Ted is a fellow trainee from Massachusetts who lives together with me. Ted is great! We arrive just on time to find two tables pushed together, beautifully laid out with white tablecloths and a dozen place settings. Half an hour later, the first guests to come are my host parents’ youngest daughter, Svetlana, and her husband, two daughters, and the older daughter’s fiancé. The newly engaged couple, Maria and Nick, studied in London; Nick now works in Germany but is home for a few weeks break. Svetlana’s other daughter, Daniela, just graduated high school and was an amazing tour guide for us during our first weeks in the village.
Next to arrive is one of Domnul Vladimir’s sisters with her husband. Dl. Vladimir has 3 sisters and 3 brothers, all of whom still live in the village. Then comes Slavic and Natalia (Dl. Vladimir’s son and daughter-in-law) with their son and his new wife, Maxim and Natalița. Everyone (including Ted and I) came with flower bouquets for Dnă. Maria. We met Slavic and Natalia on our very first day in town, back before we knew the word for “son.” I didn’t even realize they were relatives until a week or two later. Maxim’s brother Dima is living and working in Romania, so isn’t here. After some bustling around, we find seats for everyone, serve the champagne, and begin toasts. Slavic leads us in offering thanks to his mother and best wishes for her health, life, and happiness.
As we work through grilled pork cubes, garlic bread, salami, cheese, bread, cucumbers, tomatoes, pickles, olives, fish, cherry crepes, and beer, Ted and I mostly listen quietly, trying to follow the overlapping jokes, gossip, and life updates. When people talk directly to me, I can usually understand the gist of the conversation. I can forget that that’s because they’re using simple words and talking slowly. Oh, and only using Romanian. When speaking with each other, Moldovans often throw Russian words into the mix.
Most of the way through the meal, the family of Dnă Maria’s older daughter arrives. Elena (the daughter) and her husband are not here, because they live and work in Germany. But Elena’s in-laws are here with her sons, Damian (10) and the twins, Dragoș and Bogdan (6). The younger generation uses the ensuing hubbub to escape the table and head to the patio. When I met the twins a few weeks ago, I taught them how to throw a frisbee. Tonight, we work on catching it. I try to simultaneously play with the twins and talk with Maxim and Nick, but give up when I find myself as a Monkey in the Middle.
“We’re going to light the candles for the cake!” I’m thankful for the breather, and the chance to practice the birthday song, la mulți ani. It’s interesting, though - they sing two birthday songs tonight, one that I’m familiar with, and one that I’ve not heard yet. Naturally, the twins help their bunică to blow out the candles. And as they eat, they are proud to show off that they’ve memorized the Lord’s Prayer.
Maria and Nick say they are leaving, so I walk with them back outside to say goodbye, but end up cracking sunflower seeds with Nick and Slavic while Maria plays with the twins. Slavic tells me about his job, which I gather is somewhere on the spectrum between cabinet maker and interior designer. He’s also proud to tell me about how Maxim and Natalița are the business owners of a small jewelry shop in Chișinău, showing me pictures of the two family businesses on Instagram and Facebook.
Before everyone leaves, I round out the night with a workout, giving the twins a lift to help them pretend to do pull-ups on the bar that Dl. Vladimir set up for Ted and I. Actually, not everyone is leaving. As I help dry dishes in the kitchen with Natalia, I learn that Damian, Bogdan, and Dragoș are staying the night. You can imagine, I’m excited to spend more time with them but kind of terrified that they will never run out of energy. They haven’t so far, and it’s already past 11!
In the morning, over breakfast, I tell Dnă. Maria that the party was fun. “Oh, no, that was just a simple family dinner. When I was young, we had real parties with music, dancing, and food.” With a smile, I assure her that last night was perfect.
Thank you for reading along! To my community at home: I miss you and love you. To my new community here: thank you for your support. To all: let me know if you have questions I can potentially answer in future letters.
From a small country with a big heart,
Nathan
My views are my own, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Peace Corps, U.S. Government, or Republic of Moldova.
NB: I am sharing this story with the permission of my host family.
Also, full disclosure, some of the photos are actually from the birthday party for my host dad, which occurred after I drafted this post, which is why I didn’t mention it. The dinner had a very similar vibe.
"Just a simple family dinner" too funny! Such great writing you have Nathan! Keep it coming!
"From a small country with a big heart" - an amazing sign off :)